When my sister died a part of me died with her. I have attached a blog I wrote for and about her. She was my everything when I was younger, she was my lighthouse. I felt safe when I knew she was there, even if she was miles or hours away, I always felt safer because of her. When she died, I felt alone, and in many ways abandoned.
My brother died almost three years ago. I've also attached a blog I wrote for and about him. We were close once, friends even. But that changed due to an argument, a misunderstanding and two stubborn people who couldn't let it go. Oh how I wish I could go back in time just long enough to ask that we find a way to come back together.
The thing about death is that it is so final, there are no do-overs. It has a nasty habit of reminding us of the things we did or didn’t do or say. My sister knew how much I love her, I am so thankful she took that with her. When my brother was in the ICU I apologized, I forgave, I reminded him of our memories that were good, and I told him how much I love him… and despite him being non-responsive and hooked up to machines, I know he heard me and he took that with him. I am thankful for that.
I can’t speak for everyone, but for me, losing my siblings has left me feeling orphaned. Even on the days we argued, or the times we went without talking, I always knew they were there. They were part of my childhood, a time that was not easy, that was not ideal, but they were always there. The one thing that has kept me going is the reminder that we have something no one else will ever have, which is this bond that started at birth. My sister was there for my first breath. I witnessed my brother’s first breath, and also his last.
When your sibling dies…
You know that nothing will ever be the same
You feel sadness, you feel anger, and you feel pain.
You wish so badly you could do your lives all over again.
Wishing for just one more day
I miss you sister
I miss you brother
I have one more thing to say…
I am thankful for the time we had
For all the memories we have shared
I am thankful for the laughter, the tears
And for all the ways you showed you cared.
I will love you forever, I will miss you too
You are and always will be
A part of everything I say and do.
xo
Gabby
My sister Laura:
My brother Ben:
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