There is absolutely no rhyme or reason why one person goes quickly in their sleep, while another holds on for days, and days, and days. I was just asked this today... why is she taking so long? She wasn't in distress, there was no struggle... she was peacefully, and deeply sedated and yet... holding on.
This was my answer... maybe it's not THE answer... but it is my answer and it makes sense to me:
"I have sat at so many bedsides and have seen hundreds of last breaths, and yet I am always so amazed at how the body shuts down. Think about her body for a minute…. for all the ways it has been there for her, the years and the life experiences, all the things she has done, the way her body has supported and cared for her for eighty years… it has been her confident, her supporter, her strength and her weakness… and it has done its job despite all the obstacles. So now… as it begins to shut down… I imagine it has to take its time to say goodbye, and perhaps thank you, farewell, and wow… what a journey. You can’t just close a door on a relationship of 80 years… this needs to take time… we got her to a place where she can do it now with kindness and ever so gently… making sure her landing is soft… which she deserves. So we wait..."
xo Gabby
I needed to read this while my Mom only slept for three days. Her last day was spent struggling. . It was heartbreaking to see her the last day. I kept telling her it was ok and still she fought. I think she struggled all her life. Her final battlr was no different. She even told me she wasnt ready to go. She didnt want to leave. Was probably the last thing she said to me As I said she struggled all day the last day. My niece arrived by eight pm and she took her last breath with her oldest Granddaughter by her side.
This makes perfect sense to me, too. I really liked ‘it takes time to close a relationship.‘ And yes, she deserves a soft landing.
I was at my sweet Mom’s side in the hospital, she had been in a coma for days, But this particular morning her vital signs had changed negatively. I called my family to come now. We each got to say our goodbye. I ended mine with ‘I love you’ and she mouthed silent words “I love you too”, she took one more breath and passed with our family around her. I truly believe she was waiting for us. It would be so like her.