What does it mean to get back to normal?

I hear this a lot, and I find myself a little surprised when someone asks, “are you getting back to normal now?” NO! Nothing will ever be “normal” again. Why don’t people get that?

When someone you love dies, especially if you have sat vigil with them for a long period of time, you cannot ever go back to anything the way it was before. Everything has changed. Some things are similar… you might go back to work, you clean your house, you see friends or family, you eat, you sleep (hopefully) and you wake up every morning doing your best to get through the day. But everything you did before has changed because that person is not in your life anymore.

I think you can also say the same about moving to a new location, changing jobs, or ending a relationship. I recently had a relationship end, and I had to get used to living without so many things I had grown very comfortable with. Simple things like talking to them every day… I still wake up every day waiting for the morning message. But in these situations, it is much easier to adjust to, and almost welcome your new normal.

And I know many of you still wait for that phone call, or to hear their voice, or to see them walk through the door. This never gets easier.

When something happens in your life that is a significant change, especially when a person or people are no longer there, life is not, and never will be the same.... and it most certainly will not be "normal."

Normal takes on a whole new meaning. You find a new normal, which is usually one you would have never chosen. So instead of asking someone if they are getting back to normal… ask them how they are adjusting to all the changes, and if there is anything you can do to support them. And be patient with them ... this takes time.

Sometimes... a lot of time.

xo

Gabby